Home > Blogging, Feeling, Funny, Television > Adam once said to Eve, “Apple to you!”

Adam once said to Eve, “Apple to you!”

Apple to you!“An apple a day keeps everyone away, If you throw it hard enough!” Yes, that’s status message painted (actually written) on the white board on my work desk! Yes, I’m in a new facility! We’ve moved into this amazingly spacious facility at DLF, Guindy, Chennai!(spacious enough to have a wheel chair racing competition!(the revolving wheel chair that they use in office! Not the one that ‘Differently abled’ people use!)  We almost have a 200m race track around us :P) And yes, there is a white board on each of our desks, well that people are rarely using!

The first use of status message as noted from this article(thanks Mashable) started in the days when people used Bulletin board system (BBS) and Internet Relay Chat (IRC) dated back in the 60’s. As it turns out in most of my blog posts, The introduction paragraph isn’t really what this post is about! (or is it?, I’m not sure!)

I posted this message as a status message on Facebook, Twitter, IM and everywhere i could see people seeing it! 😛 The message is not only funny, but also delivers a message that I might harm them if they pissed me off! A thought.. Not that you are surprised, u should find out why?..

I feel pissed off with people who discuss nonsense! It’s however interesting that the hottest topic at the lunch/ dinner table when with friends is.. Girls! And every time they see a new girl walk in, “Dude, She’s mine! Take your eyes off!.. “Hey, Should i talk to her about u?”.. I’m like “What the hell!”.. I really felt like throwing an apple at these guys!

That’s cheap talk.. Girls are not items! “She’s taken!”.. Taken? Really? Dude u just saw her! I felt pissed off and just walked out!

Pissed offI feel pissed off when people call the Love of My Life an Idiot Box! You know who am I talking about! I mean I’m in love with her! “Who’s a real Idiot? TV or the person in front of it?”.. Dude just leave her alone! I’m ready to take this conversation forward with people who want to debate on this offline. Just let me know in advance so that I get time to buy some fresh apples!

I feel pissed off when people say “Sur thik nahi hai” when watching a singing reality show.. Really, Lata Mageshkar! What do you know about sur? Do you know how many Rag’s are there in Indian Classical Music? For that matter do you know what’s the basic difference between Indian Classical and Jazz? Shut the **** up! Apple to you!

I also feel pissed off when people say “He doesn’t deserve to be here!.. He’s a waste on this show!.. I hope he wins..”.. “Did you vote?”.. “No, A vote costs me Rs.3!”.. Ha ha.. Apple to you idiot! Shut up and enjoy the reality.. What the hell, if it’s entertaining do you really care if the show is scripted or real? I have friends who complain about the participants using foul language (Roadies), yet don’t want to miss a single episode! What the hell! Shut the **** up! Apple to you too!

I feel pissed when people talk about the right to vote, and this politician is not right.. corruption.. Indian education system.. or even take it to the level of comparing it to other countries.. “Dude, do you really know how many parties are taking part in the election? Who are the allies?”.. Sometimes people are so confused that they end up supporting the party they hate by voting their allies.. and they don’t realize it until told! Reality check! I’m not too much into politics either, but i make sure I talk to people who know about it before I excise my right to Vote! Idiots, stop complaining and start acting.. Apple to You!

I felt pissed at Union Bank of India, Kellys branch, Chennai. Handed a cheque for withdrawal with a Transfer voucher filled in (Yes, I wasn’t sure if I needed the cheque alone). I hand this to the teller and the dude does what is required. The cheque is then passed to a lady who is supposed to enter something in the system.

In a bad mood“Do you not know that this voucher is not required for withdrawal?”..

” Yes!”..

“You have an account since 2005, and should have already withdrawn a number of times, How can u not know!”..

“What the hell, thanks to your ATM system, I don’t ever have to visit the bank to withdraw money. Just that I can’t find my ATM card I have to do all this!”..

“If you’ve lost it, First thing you do is you report it, or all money will be swiped off!”..

“I know what to do, can u just give me my money!”..

“How stupid!”.. Yes, she said it!.. “Stupid, Did u call me stupid? That’s how you treat the customers! First, Why the hell did the first guy just pass the cheque with the voucher on it? Second, Why do have this board that reads ‘May I help you’ in front of you when what you really do is piss people off?”

At this point the guy wakes up and the conversation is heated! “I thought that you are withdrawing the money and then depositing it back!”..”Really? You think people really want to do that? Now please shut up!”.. If i wasn’t really getting late, I would have made sure these guys had the worst day od their life.. “Stupid! Balls to them!” I thought as I walked out. I wish I had said Apples to you and left them figuring what it meant! Idiots!

Now does Apples to you become the most used when people feel pissed off? If that happens, even i deserve a Nobel prize for finding an unoffensive way of pissing people who pissed you off. Talking of piss! I need a break! lol.. at least from this post, before anyone calls it a novel! Post your piss off stories as comments and let the world know you had an apple to give to somebody!

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Kunal Janu

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PS: Comments welcome for the all new “Movies Anyone?” widget on the right hand side of the blog!

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  1. LVS
    January 3, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    I’d say I wasted time reading this post, but thanks to you I remembered I had business to do with Union Bank – so an orange to you! 😛

  2. Kunal Janu
    January 4, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    LVS – Thanks for the orange, planted the seeds in the mind, hope I get new fresh oranges to give back to you by the end of this year!

  3. January 4, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Well there a lots of instances I come across during my daily commute…
    For starters people who are really loud while talking be it on phones or even otherwise. Something on the lines of a running commentary of everything they do everyday and it drives me up the wall. Apples to them…

    Then there are these new found breed of rather courteous chain smokers who seek fellow commuter’s permission before lighting up…Dunno if it a genuine courtesy call or mockery. Apples to them too..

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