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Confusion: Choosing death

This comes as a follow up post to one of my earlier posts: ‘Death is hereditary‘. Thanks to Ambika (There is your request Ambika.. A top of the post recommendation :P) whose comment carried a link to a death predictor. I know I have to die someday, I’m not Immortal.. It’s just some confusion with  how i want my life to end.. The predictor helps me choose my death.. It was interesting and worth a try, What came up was.. “At age 72 you will fall into a vat of neutral shoe polish, and your body will never be recovered“.. bah! Shoe Polish? I Love My Life.. Vidhya Shanakar even went on to suggest me getting used to the taste… It’s at the age of 72, but Shoe polish? I’d prefer the white one to the black.. 😛 What about the post now?…

I don’t want an end with a Shoe Polish, So decided to choose the best way to end my life.. how was i going to do that? Change the inputs in the predictor.. To my surprise it only turned out to be a sadder experience than the first one..

So what is the predictor all about?
Like i said, it’s a death predictor, and this is how the website claims itself to be.. “It’s the new and improved Death Predictor. After analyzing results from hundreds of thousands of predictions, the algorithms have been tweaked in order to be even more effective, and more accurate than ever before! This amazing device uses secret, highly proprietary algorithms to determine an educated guess as to how, and at what age, you will die. The questions below are taken into consideration when determining your results”

Interested to know more about it eh.. Here is a link: The Death Predictor

The Inputs

Name and Age, that’s quite obvious..

History of a heart disease, yes, your chances increase if you have a heart disease in your family.. btw.. LOVE does not count as a Heart Disease..

Your Social well being‘, I wonder how much it would matter.. Ah.. wait.. I think if you are a ‘Social butterfly’ as they call it.. it means you drink and smoke..? I thought it’s more to do with, how socially active you are?

Number of pets: I don’t think this matters much, unless it was ‘Type of Pet’.. A godzilla pet, a Lion as a pet.. and i understand..

Do you wear a Watch? Hmmm.. I don’t.. I don’t wear one, just for the reason that i don’t want to know when my bad time has come..

Approximate Height: Can be cms or inches 😛 Well, What’s height got to do with how much you live… ? who really cared, I didn’t want to end up in pit of Shoe Polish.. I wanted a better end, and changed the inputs and here’s what i got.. (i have only posted the most interesting ones on which i can comment 😛

Changes to Social Activity

Social ButterFly: At age 35 you will be attacked by a pack of escaped lap dogs in your neighborhood and never be seen again. (That is not a good way to die, but seems moer truthful.. i see a lot of dogs in my neighbourhood barking at a lot of people.. when’s my Turn? At 35? Nahiiii! )

Bit Shy: At age 44 you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Phobos, a moon of Mars.  (An InterPlanetary War? Yeah.. I’d be fighting for Global Warming.. ‘You Aliens are responsible for it’.. Wondering if the X-Men look will make a style statement?)

Loner: At age 29 you will die in a fiery golf-cart crash, alcohol will be involved.  (Golf Cart? Crash? Do Golf Carts run at the speed of ‘Knots’ :P)

Anti Social: At age 68 you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Camp Harmony, Venus  (Ah.. Venus.. I like this one.. May be also marry the princess of venus :P)

Different Social Life’s with ‘No’ heart disease

Social butterfly: At age 35 you will go down in a small raft, in your friend’s pool, and subsequently drown.  (Before i make any friends, Do you have a pool?.. ‘Yes’.. Does it have Water?.. :P)

A bit shy: At age 28 you will spontaneously combust while dining out with your family.  (Combust, Just like that.. I hate this life)

Anti Social: At age 70 a statue will fall over and crush you while giving your acceptance speech for the position of Governor. (You’d definitely expect this if you are Anti Social, Most Politicians are :P)

Wear a watch
A what?:  At age 51 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then (Haha.. And happily live ever after.. dreaming :P)

Height (in cms)

173: At age 56 you will perish in an explosion caused by a leaky pilot light and a faulty electrical switch. (Leaky Pilot light? electrical switch..? Scaring me..)

175: At age 62 you will be eaten by birds in Manhattan’s Central Park. (birds in manhattan eh.. I’m never going to travel there.. This is not a possibility)

176: At age 58 you will drown in a wading pool under mysterious circumstances. The only clue will be a small blue pacifier found around your neck. (Again the pool, it’s starting to scare me 😦 )

177: At age 54 you will become lost during a road trip and wind up living out the movie “Wrong Turn”. Sorry for ya. (I’d be lost.. I’d better get lost after running this blog for a year and a half.. )

Life isn’t so easy.. And so is this study.. What do i prefer now? and what do i have to do to get a peaceful death.. A death that does not involve Shoe Polish..

Personally I liked “At age 68 you will die fighting the Interplanetary War on Terrorism on Camp Harmony, Venus” for which i will have to turn Anti Social … Care helping me on this?

I also like another option: “At age 54 you will become lost during a road trip and wind up living out the movie “Wrong Turn”. Sorry for ya.” for which all i have to do is increase the height by 2cms and end up being lost.. It also allows me to be the way I am.. A Monkey.. Oops.. A man who likes living the life for others.. I’d also die on the interplanetary war.. it would make me a hero and a chance of marrying the princess on Venus.. Cos I’m sure I’m never going to a get a ‘girl’ on this planet 😛

On a serious note (not really)  I’d prefer both options.. For which I’ll have to increase my height by 2cms.. or may be chop 2cms off the scale.. I have to turn AntiSocial, The seeds for which are already sown.. And yes, if you are looking for me.. Here’s a Clue:  “I’m dead three years back, and this is probably a dream 😛

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Kunal Janu

PS: Life is a gist, love it.. This is just a post.. i wish to live longer than this planet can exist.. I love my life.. May god bless us all.. Have a wonderful life.. if not, pay me a visit.. Here is a link to my Sports blog if you like.. KJ@Sports

  1. March 31, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    Why did you go to the trouble of trying multiple inputs?
    I just refreshed (postback) the results page and I got a new way/date of death! 😛

  2. March 31, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    Comments tomorrow!!!

  3. Kunal
    April 1, 2009 at 10:26 am


    I know it would have changed,anyways it was only meant to show everyone what kind of death I would like..

    Kunal Janu
    Visit my Sports Blog: KJ @ SPORTS

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