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Funny Status Messages

There are days when you feel pissed off and don’t want to be disturbed. There are days when u r in a happy mood and want to express a feeling without having to talk to everybody. Status messages come in handy (For people who don’t understand the term, Status message is a ‘tag’ line that appears with the online status of a person) and I’m a big fan of the funny ones.

A number of people have proverbs and motivational messages as their status messages but very less have funny status messages. I have seen a lot of people have one just for the sake of it, One of my friend has ‘Be Positive’.. Really? Is that what you are trying to tell the world about u?  I have a collection and plan to make them public thorugh my blog. To get started off, here are some funny and ridiculous status messages.

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  • The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue

  • As u grow older ur secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either

  • Forget Health Food. I’m at an age where i need all the preservatives i can get.

  • My take home pay doesn’t ven take me home.

  • I would be unstoppable. If i could just get started.

  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

  • Reason I joined IT: I believed in the Bhagwad Geeta principle : karm karo , phal ki ichha na karo.

  • Reason I joined IT:Everything in life has a reason; i wanted to prove it wrong.

  • A day without sunshine is like, night.

  • Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

  • Always listen to your wife, she gives sound advice : 99% Sound and 1% Advice….

  • Death is hereditary.

  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

  • Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

  • Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.

  • Double your drive space. Delete Windows!

  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

  • Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate. What u prefer??

  • I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

  • I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

  • If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

  • Learn from your parents’ mistakes: use birth control.

  • Always listen to your wife, she gives sound advice : 99% Sound and 1% Advice….

  • Get a new car for your spouse; it’ll be a great trade!

  • Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

  • The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

  • What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

  • When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

  • We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

  • My friend recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married. He says “the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs… ..”

  • Love is holding hands in the street.Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

  • Love is cuddling on a sofa.Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

  • Love is going to bed early.Marriage is going to sleep early.

  • Tv has no place in love.Marriage is a fight for remote control.

  • Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

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Internet Sayings you could use:

  • Home is where you hang your @.

  • The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

  • A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

  • You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.

  • Great groups from little icons grow.

  • Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

  • C: is the root of all directories.

  • Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.

  • Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

  • The modem is the message.

  • Too many clicks spoil the browse.

  • The geek shall inherit the earth.

  • A chat has nine lives.

  • Don’t byte off more than you can view.

  • Fax is stranger than fiction.

  • What boots up must come down.

  • Windows will never cease.

  • Virtual reality is its own reward.

  • Modulation in all things.

  • A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

  • There’s no place like home.com.

  • Know what to expect before you connect.

  • Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.

Use them wisely and do come back for more in the following week.

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Kunal Janu

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  1. April 3, 2009 at 9:26 pm

    :lol:
    Some of them were really cool and newer ones!! Sorry.. too lazy to mention which ones.. :P

  2. April 4, 2009 at 1:18 am

    I searched on google and I had a hard time located the right info….until I found your blog.

  3. Kunal
    April 6, 2009 at 8:57 am

    Ambika..

    More to come through the week.. Keep visiting..

    Kunal Janu

  4. Kunal
    April 6, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Hi harry

    Come back for more..

    Kunal Janu

  5. April 16, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Hello i see you blog very nice and i think you feture better post

  6. Kunal Janu
    April 16, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    Thanks Yusuf green

    Kunal Janu

  7. July 16, 2009 at 1:26 am

    Great one…. :D :) ;) :P :(

  8. Royal knights
    August 9, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Hahahahhahahahahahahaha

  9. Yusuf
    August 11, 2009 at 7:56 pm

    Very nice status msg….
    Keep it up…

  10. October 8, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    simply amazing.

  11. November 14, 2009 at 3:19 am

    that was sooooooooooo silly nt funny duh!!!

  12. Imran
    January 3, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    It’s cool and really funny…..cheers

  13. February 2, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Hi All Are Cool one…Amazing

  14. May 18, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    nice blog…
    How we feel about what we do can make the difference between success or failure. In other words if we think we can – we can, and if we think we can’t – we can’t. If you regularly say to yourself ‘i could never do that’ you are creating a self fulfilling prophecy so that in the end you never will do that thing. Find out what you need to know about creating the mind sets you need.
    http://www.theselfesteemadvisoryservice.com /index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=63

  15. May 25, 2010 at 7:54 pm

    hey dude…… really cool….. keep up the good work…anywyz i was wondering if u could mail me all your funny status messages on my id ie, lonly.jake786@gamil.com thanks……. looking forward for more

  16. May 25, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    looking forward…. plz reply…. thankxxx

  17. Kunal Janu
    May 26, 2010 at 11:25 am

    Hi Jake, Why don’t you just go on and copy them yourself?

  18. daisy
    June 24, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    nice collection ……..gr8

  19. Kunal Janu
    June 28, 2010 at 11:57 am

    Thanks Dailsy. Keep Coming back for more.

  20. Satchendra
    October 17, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    I love u barsha very much

  21. Manoj
    January 2, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    Cool ones :)

  22. Ajay
    March 8, 2011 at 5:14 pm

    I’ve got my own creations……if ya need ping me n fb http://facebook.com/ajayaldo

  23. Alex
    June 27, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    this is super

  24. July 31, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    Awesome blog. Keep posting. Cheers.

  25. Ooly
    August 22, 2011 at 8:16 am

    Some of them were really cool and new..!! :D

  26. Alex
    September 20, 2011 at 8:23 am

    nice

  27. James
    November 16, 2011 at 8:47 am

    keep posting

  28. shubhangi tiwari
    December 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    very funnyyyy ha ha ha ha………………:))))

  29. December 11, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    oh i love the great massages.keep up wit the good ones

  30. December 27, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    Many thanks for the important information on this article, and i look forward to returning to understand even more regarding funny chat up lines.

  31. wjimenez5271
    January 8, 2012 at 10:24 am

    very funny

  32. mahesh kumar soni
    May 8, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    haste raho or kuch nahi

  33. holly
    May 28, 2012 at 9:06 pm

    not very good not that funny either but good try

  34. holly
    May 28, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    Alex :
    nice

  35. Khanyisa
    May 29, 2012 at 8:58 am

    This is just right, plz come up with more funny jokes

  36. ravi
    August 3, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. jasleen
    August 9, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    hahahhaha yar it’s amazinh

  38. Thembanator
    August 24, 2012 at 4:38 am

    Kanul Janu,you myt be the modern day Shakespeare,those msgs are of a genius’ very touch .

  39. September 25, 2012 at 7:19 pm

    I lv dis site

  40. Mukhasi omphulusa
    October 7, 2012 at 11:56 am

    I dont just like this ,i love this!!

  41. elton
    October 8, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    nyc my regards to da person wu came up wit dem :-)

  42. shireen
    October 15, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Very nice,amazing,cool status….

  43. October 31, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Love it!

  44. November 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    I must say I’m happy pretty dope keep hitting us up ey

  45. December 7, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    what the f*** is this c*** you nerds can’t you make up your own!!!!!!!???????

  46. January 27, 2013 at 10:17 am

    Ur internet status messages are really cool… keep it up.

  47. May 2, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    what a perfect w0rdss … compare with mine … u loose … lolz … i luv it

  48. June 21, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    Not everyone will agree that they like to laugh, but the positive effects of it,
    once it has begun are undeniable. Use these techniques on the crowd and you’ll be amazed at how quickly everyone shuts up and just stares at you for every single second you are on that stage. Laughing helps boost your immunity, decreases pain, and lowers stress.

  49. June 24, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your site and in accession
    capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.

  1. April 6, 2009 at 10:10 am
  2. April 7, 2009 at 10:02 am

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