Making Decisions..

Disclaimer: This post is intended top brag about my own personal feelings and decisions.If you have read this post on my blog and felt bored, You may want to skip this one too.

I have been making some decisions, some that have taken over 6 months. Yes, and  to end the mayhem in my mind. I have been having random thoughts, more personal than general, about my life, about what i should be doing, about what i need etc etc.. Most confusing and irritating is when you have to make a shopping decision in the time of recession It’s when you have to hold back a decision of whether you really want that product. If you intend to read further i suggest you go through the post linked above, It will help correlating with this one.

First and Foremost, The Computer.

The computer or if i can call the Home PC is broken(I mean not working, not  literally broken) for a long-long time. More than 6 months i guess, and the intent of getting it fixed is more because of laziness and a lot of thinking! The Hard drive is corrupted and I have to get a new one to get this fixed. But you know when the confusion starts, it’s when your family tells you not to. I bought a computer about 6 years back (old configuration that now does not have an upgrade, even if there is, there will be none in the future). I wonder what i did on the computer all these years? Played games,  a lot of them in fact. Did some C programming too, My first project a ‘Telephone directory’ was done using C program and i was so proud of that, Only to realize that it was nothing when compared to the kind of coding i do now!

I played a lot of games and Watched some movies on it.I never had an internet connection just for the fact that i did not want my system to get affected, actually i was not sure if it would support broadband, even if it did will it give me the speed i want. A 128 MB RAM can only give you limited speed. So what, I busted it. The Hard drive crashed and I was forced to make an upgrade. I enquired about the fix,only to know that a better and higher type of HDD has arrived in the market.. the one i was looking for were almost extinct or very costly. It was costing me more than i actually thought it would be. I went back to thinking, talking to myself, Started analyzing why i needed a computer. It was not going to get any further upgrade, so is there a point in spending money behind it? The new one costed just twice the money i was spending to get it working.. but the thought  “Do I really need it?” always was on my mind.. Clear answer to which was,”No, I Don’t”.. But I overheard the decision most of the time and mostly when i would find out from a friend that his computer a much advanced version costed me just around 4k.  A bit costly for a old one, but it seemed a fair price but how do i convince myself to get it, “Do I need a computer?”

I finally made the decision, “I Don’t want it”.. “Yes, I don’t want it”..  I kept telling to myself. The decision came thanks to my ‘keep asking yourself the question’ attitude before spending on anything.. “I really don’t want it”..

Am I overworked?

This very thought, the thought about writing it, is itself very irritating. The older post did not carry any entries on these thoughts for this very reason.. It’s been months since i have caught up on some of the late night shows on TV. Those were days when had a clear mind before i went to sleep, if i was not, TV helped me do it.. That;s why i call it “The Love Of My Life“.

And Today, I try sleeping a little early, around 10PM. And If i don’t have a clear mind, I’m not going to have what they call a ‘Sound’ sleep.. And most of it is about work.. I had to get over this somehow and thanks to the decision i have made, I’ll be a happier person. “I will take two 15 mins break and a half hour lunch break in my time spent at office, No matter what!”

It was an easy decision, but some way or the other i get held up. All day i keep working and therefore i carry a lot of unfinished tasks in my mind. The breaks help me relax and give time to myself. I was not making sure i do it, But now I will do it. For the record, I have an application called ‘Eye’ on my system that after every 60 mins pulls up a screen saver sort of a screen with excersises to relax my eyes. Sound too pleasing na, Everytime it comes up, i close it and it makes no difference. Now i’ll make sure i get my time.

It’s been 2 days since i have made these decisions, and I’m a much happier person now.. The thought about the computer keeps coming back, but i control it by talking to myself.. I don’t feel overworked making me a happier person.. Ever had any such problems? Do u feel overworked to? Post them in comments so i have more clairty in my decision making.. See you around.

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Kunal

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